A Letter to the One Still Replaying It at 2:00 AM

"Forgiving yourself is not saying it did not matter. It is deciding you are allowed to keep living after it did."

Dear you,

I know which memory you are holding tonight. You have rehearsed it so many times that you could recite every word, every pause, every better thing you should have said.

You have been acting as judge, jury and prison guard, and you have never once asked the accused to speak.

So let me speak for the person you were then. They did not have what you have now. They had less information, less strength and less time, and they made the best choice available to them with a heart that was already tired. You can call that choice a mistake. You cannot call it proof that you are rotten.

Self-love is not a bubble bath or a mirror pep talk. It is quieter than that:

It is saying "I was hurt, and that was real" without adding "so I must be weak".

It is saying "I got it wrong" without adding "so I am wrong".

It is letting yourself eat, sleep and laugh while the regret is still in the room.

You would never speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself. Try this tonight: write the memory down, then answer it in the voice you wouldd use for someone you love.

Then put out the light, you have served enough time.

Your mind is wiser now, share this piece to enrich the mind of your people.